You remember them in diapers.  You recall their first words.  You cherish the days when they were innocent, loving, and eager for your hugs.  Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to remember that your children are now teenagers or (where did the time go?) actual adults.

Once a parent, always a parent.  Yet, as your children grow and evolve, so must your relationship with them.  You need to be supportive (but not intrusive), offer emotional support (without being overly involved), and hope they make wise choices (while still understanding that those choices are theirs to make.)  Offering your love and support can help you build a more enduring relationship with them.

The tips below can help you bond with your kids even though they’re no longer kids:

1. Set a standing dinner date- There’s something comforting and secure about the family gathered around the dinner table, maybe because that tradition is rapidly disappearing.  The evening meal is the one time of the day when family can gather in one place and strengthen their unity.
2. Back off, but stay close- It’s normal for teens to want to spend more time friends than parents.
3. Share your own feelings with your teen- Confiding that you too occasionally feel angry, insecure, or awkward shows your teenager that you’re not just a parent, you’re a human.
4. Respect your teen’s privacy- Don’t eavesdrop on his phone conversation, or pester her with questions.  If their behavior is troubling you, address it directly, using five little words: “Can we talk about it?”
5. Seek their opinions- Teenagers have opinions about everything, and they aren’t shy about sharing them.  Such opinions might include curfews, decisions about drinking and sexual activity.  Promise not to make decisions without hearing and considering their perspectives first.
6. Trust your children to make smart choices- It’s going to happen.  They’ll make the wrong ones occasionally, but especially if they are over 18, give them the chance to figure out solutions to problems on their own.  After all, didn’t you want the same from your parents when you were their age?

For many of you, having children is the most amazing thing you’ve ever done.  Children bring such joy and energy to your lives.  They break your favorite lamp and smear peanut butter on your kitchen cabinets, and eventually grow into teenagers and become little strangers.  Make the most of your relationship with your children.  Someday they’ll be gone, and you’ll miss having those little peanut butter- smearers around.